It's time ta set da reckid straight.

I'm da so-called Creature from the Black Lagoon. People keep wonderin' who I am and where I comes from. Well, da truth is, I'm one a dem Deep Ones (a la "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" and related accounts.) Ya know I ain't pullin' ya leg, dontcha. I'm amphibionymous, I got the requisite great strength, I'm violent toward male humans, and you know how I tries to drag off the occasional female type for what you may correctly suppose is congress of da most unspeakable sort.

But why, you asks, am I living all by my lonesome in dat lagoon, and so easily caught by humans? Well, I'm slow in da head is why, and the other Deep Ones, not being p'ticularly kind-hearted, have ostrich-sized me right out of da usual Deep One haunts, da bastids. So here I am, living out my indefinite and possibly infinite lifespan in dis one-burro popsicle stand of a lagoon, living off bland freshwater stuff like bluegills, water snakes, storks, and de occasional fisherman (or fisherwoman, heh heh!) And, of course, ta add insult ta injury, I keeps getting bugged by one set of annoying scientists or hunters after de other. Bein' slow in the head is bad enuf, but dis crap is drivin' me cuckoo.

All youse humans can go pee in a pool filled wit' candiru fish , for all I cares. Da clearin' offa de Oith can't come soon enuf for me, I kin tell youse!
 

Da Creature